Communication

Conversation and communication skill: listening, feedback, questions, disagreement, persuasion, boundaries

A topic in the tpot Community Archive, drawn from 21,744 posts.

Trusted voices in Communication

Ordered by the trust Communication's own network concentrates on each poster, most first.

  1. visakanv — trusted by 212 posters here
  2. RichDecibels — trusted by 187 posters here
  3. nosilverv — trusted by 193 posters here
  4. DefenderOfBasic — trusted by 175 posters here
  5. goblinodds — trusted by 172 posters here
  6. QiaochuYuan — trusted by 177 posters here
  7. tasshinfogleman — trusted by 166 posters here
  8. AskYatharth — trusted by 164 posters here
  9. eigenrobot — trusted by 162 posters here
  10. Malcolm_Ocean — trusted by 168 posters here
  11. vividvoid — trusted by 165 posters here
  12. the_wilderless — trusted by 150 posters here

Top posts in Communication

Ordered by the recorded like count from the source corpus; a like is not an endorsement.

  1. There is an art to replying and commenting, and probably like 60-70% of people I’ve seen on the internet fail at it. The important thing is not to speak your mind, but to “support” the OP. You can… (visakanv) — 57 likes
  2. ohhhhhh! if you learned early on “when I flow thru life intuitively I frequently get sanctioned, humiliated or ostracised” then it would be an adaptive choice to retreat into analytical modes of… (RichDecibels) — 55 likes
  3. Once at a party I told this woman "you look like you belong everywhere u go" she said "I do" I asked "can you show me how? like, nonverbally transmit that to me" and then she did (TylerAlterman) — 49 likes
  4. Ok, so a thing that has been BLOWING MY MIND laterly is that people seem to process words first as signifiers, not content. That is, not "what do these words mean" but "what kind of person says… (nosilverv) — 48 likes
  5. studying conversation the way you study chess openings "if they go 'how are you', you play 'good, how are you'. now in this position the opponent has a few possible moves. for example after 'so how… (mechanical_monk) — 43 likes
  6. we fucked up when we switched from excellent metaphors like web-surfing and hyperlinking and internet exploring and netscape navigating. We were voyagers. Now yall doomscroll. wtf is that. If you’re… (visakanv) — 40 likes
  7. this thread was sloppy, uncharitable, and overly aggressive, but i am sincerely grateful for the depth and quality of discussion it's provoked anyway. thank you to everyone who chimed in. it is very… (QiaochuYuan) — 38 likes
  8. I am learning that sometimes when people say "I'm intimidated by you" they mean "I think highly of you and I'm nervous about making a good impression" instead of "you are acting in an intimidating… (RichDecibels) — 38 likes
  9. i came to a hostel, went to the hostel bar, and within half an hour i'd started a conversation with 3 ppl i'm now having a dinner with a cute girl as a result who is this person who took over my… (mechanical_monk) — 38 likes
  10. if you, a girl, live in a house with a boy and you want him to tidy up more: don’t teach him how to build a boat, teach him a love of the sea. he lacks your aesthetic sensitivity, and you can patch… (RichDecibels) — 38 likes
  11. i'm gonna explain this a bit. there is a "secret language" spoken by children and animals that uses the whole body as a way to send signals, this language is nonverbal and vibes-based, it's… (slimepriestess) — 38 likes
  12. Every “utterance” (status, tweet, whatever) is a bit of an invitation, a bit of a proposal. “Let’s play this game”. When strangers read the proposal accurately, and support the game, a shared… (visakanv) — 37 likes
  13. i love this so much this is such a great example of someone being well-prepared to get the most out of their social interactions this is a Friendly Ambitious Nerd i can just tell… (visakanv) — 36 likes
  14. the sentence "i didn't say she stole my money" can have 7 different meanings depending on which word you emphasize now consider how people read each other's plaintext tweets all the time without… (visakanv) — 35 likes
  15. sometimes people think their bottleneck is time but it’s actually the absence of a supportive context (visakanv) — 34 likes
  16. just a PSA; did you know: you can discuss your relationship issues with your partner before doing anything drastic like breaking up suddenly with no context? I’ve been hearing from multiple people… (visakanv) — 33 likes
  17. If a dolphin wants to explain there’s a school of fish nearby, it will send the sound of a sonar return from a phantom school of fish — literally the *sensation* of fish. I suspect this is a good… (johnsonmxe) — 33 likes
  18. folks are truthbox-posting. I have a PSA: there's a very wrong way to use these. When you write anon feedback, ask yourself: * is it nice? * if it's not, is it actionable? * if you're not sure, is… (bashu_thanks) — 33 likes
  19. "small talk is an audition for authentic connection" was a really helpful reframe (the_wilderless) — 33 likes
  20. eg: you might think you need an evening to write an essay, but then the evening comes and you fail to write it and then a friend asks you to explain it to them and you write it in 5-10 minutes what… (visakanv) — 32 likes
  21. protip: whenever you feel compelled to say “that sounds boring”, swap it for “what do you like about it?” and watch your social life flourish as people begin to enjoy your company (visakanv) — 32 likes
  22. here’s a random exchange I’d like to see 1000x more of. ask your mutuals questions about something they’re knowledgeable about 1. gives them freedom/permission to talk about what they know 2.… (visakanv) — 32 likes
  23. One thing extroverts do, that introverts don't understand is allowed, is: - I'm not feeling like the vibe of this hang - my options are (1) leave (2) stay there is a third option, you can change the… (DefenderOfBasic) — 32 likes
  24. i'm trying this new thing where i actually let myself talk and write and reflect about my object level opinions out loud, especially the ones that feel vulnerable to share (tasshinfogleman) — 31 likes
  25. the slav defense is when after "how are you" you take the question at face value and start talking about your problems (mechanical_monk) — 31 likes
  26. the twist is that actually everyone is an empath but also most of the time people are emitting an empathic request to not be empathically read, which most people respect. self-declared empaths are… (QiaochuYuan) — 31 likes
  27. I'm doing this DM with things that piss you off about me, let's have a bottle of wine and fight in front of all our friends https://t.co/RKAijxK7of (vividvoid) — 31 likes
  28. in many ways, you are better positioned to hype up your friends and allies to the degree of accuracy and excellence that they deserve than they are (tasshinfogleman) — 31 likes
  29. Many men complain why can’t women be direct and clear and explain? Well, they DONT WANT to be understood, they want to be SEEN. They want you to know, WITHOUT TELLING YOU, because you’ve been paying… (nosilverv) — 31 likes
  30. this is gonna sound like a bit, but i'm serious: if there's one thing i suspect might be a cure to all ills, it is good reply game. i'd argue that good reply game, in le guin's sense of "love is not… (visakanv) — 31 likes
  31. Oscar Wilde, on bad reply game: "A bore is someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company." (visakanv) — 30 likes
  32. For what it's worth, I spoke to someone who took that lemur post deeply personal, someone who I know has a history of depression. I was feeling hot and righteous and defensive of someone in a weak… (vividvoid) — 30 likes
  33. I'm developing a disagreeability coaching service, starting with a free offer for moots if you find yourself getting pushed around, avoiding difficult conversations, agonising over criticism etc… (RichDecibels) — 30 likes
  34. sorry someone should've told you this already but: the first words you say to a group are an intensely powerful magic spell (RichDecibels) — 30 likes
  35. AOL Instant Messenger got presence and status messages correct, and we have been slowly trying to crawl our way back ever since https://t.co/DixtpjoLK3 (eshear) — 30 likes
  36. I find explaining any actually interesting idea usually requires explaining like 5 subsidiary ideas. If you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky it’s like 25 and either they’re ready for a three hour lecture… (eshear) — 30 likes
  37. i've learned from jesscamp during the vibecamp trip i was making eye contact, talking to ppl i don't know, greeting them with a smile, introducing myself and i faced exactly what i feared: some ppl… (mechanical_monk) — 30 likes
  38. Francis Bacon, Of Discourse - don’t be tedious - let other people talk - if someone is hogging, cut him off - ask questions that people can look good answering - don’t be a poser with smartass… (visakanv) — 29 likes
  39. COVID restrictions are lifting. The end is in sight. It's time to forgive all the people you disagreed with. No one had a monopoly on the truth, good information was hard to find and kept changing,… (vividvoid) — 29 likes
  40. @VividVoid_ All good man. Thanks for saying this.I don't think it's crazy to get mad if someone seems like they're being a dick for no reason! esp if someone else is getting hurt (re the context in… (michaelcurzi) — 29 likes
  41. If you are addicted to this place anyways you may as well get good at speaking the truth. Like being in prison and getting jacked (bashu_thanks) — 29 likes
  42. the yin/yang nature of agreeableness and disagreeableness has become clearer to me over the years you can't truly agree unless there's the option of not agreeing and you can't meaningfully disagree… (visakanv) — 29 likes
  43. being kind to everyone is short term good but long term anti social, if they're not getting feedback about their impact on the group they'll keep being unnecessarily annoying (RichDecibels) — 29 likes
  44. most brainy & socially awkward ppl grew up in some environment where they were punished for being spontaneous. so instead we started running all our behavior through the intellect to restrain… (TylerAlterman) — 29 likes
  45. one of the cool things about being known as a helpful person is you constantly have people showing up asking for favours and also another thing is they generally suck at helping you in return and… (RichDecibels) — 29 likes
  46. the last few months I’ve been working with @vividvoid, training habitual people-pleasers to be more confrontational. it’s been so fascinating to learn the logic of conflict-avoidant people and to… (RichDecibels) — 29 likes
  47. a thing I like to do after watching a movie or a tv show is to watch interviews with the actors. with comedies, is that you see how actors often have much more expanded awareness when they're not… (visakanv) — 28 likes
  48. if you want to get an 80/20 of the benefit of Buddhism—something westerners are obsessed with, and perhaps not wrongly—practicing right speech will get you more more bang for your buck than right… (tasshinfogleman) — 28 likes
  49. i seem to believe that on some level all problems could be solved by sufficiently deep communication. like that if instantly every human on earth received a telepathic download of the memories and… (QiaochuYuan) — 28 likes
  50. there's this truly unfortunate trap you can fall into of being both 1) annoying, and 2) visibly vibing as very fragile such that if you were told you were annoying you'd fall apart, get really sad… (QiaochuYuan) — 28 likes

Most active posters

By posts in this topic: a volume measure, not trust.